Roger, this one’s for you. Hey buddy, you doing alright? Are people being mean to you? It’s been a rough go lately, but we’re here to help. We’re good guys at Has Been, and we think we can help with your “ratings crisis”.
Let’s look at the root of your problem. We’re gonna be frank. These “marquee” Monday and Thursday night games are garbage, that’s the easiest way to put it. We get it, it’s not easy scheduling games that people are going to want to watch.
Realistically you’ve seen two, TWO, decent MNF games this season and even that’s a stretch. The people aren’t turning out for a barnburner like Bucs-Panthers in October, that’s obvious.
The rest of the Monday slate isn’t good either my man, and that doesn’t bode well. Why would people stay tuned in when they’re seeing upcoming matchups like Texans-Raiders, a would be good one if the Brocketship weren’t crashing harder than the Titanic in that iceberg.
Colts-Jets? Ouch. Ravens-Patriots? Blowout central. The only matchup with decent potential is the Lions-Cowboys game, but it’s the day after Christmas! Ouch. Don’t get us started on the Thursday night games. Even the glorious Titans-Jags color rush game couldn’t save these ratings.
One idea we’ll toss your way for free is Double Color Rush. Woah now, intrigued already? Must see TV? We know, but hold your horses. Double color rush would take the existing color rush and make it double, like Double Dare 3000, making it that much more exciting.
Let’s try another. You know how the Titans cheerleaders for their thursday night game dressed up in costumes before halftime because it was Halloween week? Yeah, do that a lot more, obviously. Who doesn’t want to see female Captain America with pom-poms? Goodell party of one, your ratings boost is ready.
We’re just spitballing here but trust us Rog, Rogie, whatever your pet name is, we think we can help. Let’s make the NFL watchable again.