The Yahoo Fantasy Sports App Sucks

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Cooler weather, tailgates, pumpkin spice flavored everything and of course…fantasy football

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I’m not one to beat around the Reggie Bush here so i’ll get right to it. If you are using Yahoo Sports than you are simply doing it wrong…..Hear me out.

Item #1: What kind of name is Yahoo? 

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When I think of Yahoo I think of only one thing. Our lord and savior Mason Ramsey aka Lil Hank aka Yodeling boy. There is some serious potential for a partnership here. I expect royalties for the idea. You’re welcome Yahoo!

Item #2: The Russians

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How does this company still exist? If I ask for your email address and you give me an @yahoo.com best believe that email is going to simply get lost in the vastness of cyberspace and you will not receive my E-vite to my nephews bris (google it). (note from the editor … dont)

If it wasn’t for Verizon than Yahoo would have crashed and burned in 2016. In fact, after Verizon agreed to purchase Yahoo it was discovered that nearly 500 million user accounts were breached in 2014. Still not sold?

On December 14, 2016, Yahoo revealed that ANOTHER separate data breach had occurred in 2014, with hackers obtaining sensitive account information, including security questions, to at least one billion accounts.

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The company stated that Russian hackers had utilized stolen internal software to forge HTTP Cookies
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What the hell is that? I have no idea. But I don’t want anything to do with this app, the Russians or their cookies at this point.

Item #3: We still haven’t even talked about the app yet 

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During this year’s inaugural HasBeen Sports fantasy football draft I kept picking skill players until my bench was full. Why? Because in every other draft I have ever done you can only have a certain number of skill players for each position. After you have reached the limit for each position you will be forced to pick a defense and a kicker. NOT WITH YAHOO! This guy entered week 1 without a kicker or defense and still almost pulled out the W.

One member of HasBeen Sports (a certain resident boat expert) says that I simply don’t know how to draft. That may be true but as someone who fought for our freedom I thought at least you would be on my side here and not with the Russians.

Item #4: The “Fearless Forecast” 

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Yahoo Sports panel of fantasy experts offer a “Fearless Forecast” of how each player could/should do. For example, Deshaun Watson’s FEARLESS FORECAST against Buffalo is as follows: 255 passing yards, 55 rushing yards, two passing TD’s, one rushing TD and one INT combining for 28.7 points. All of this of course comes to you by way of Yahoo’s fantasy sports meteorologists. Sounds like the perfect job for us at HasBeen. Give us a call or simply yodel at us Yahoo. We are available. 

 

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Please direct all hate mail to me @PhillthyG on twitter.

 

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